Thoughts of a young man falling in love

credits: Karol Wojtyla : The Jeweller's Shop
ANDREW:

"..And I don't think I even know what "love at first sight" means. 
After a time I realized she had come into the focus of my attention, 
I mean, I had to be interested in her, 
and at the same time I accepted the fact that I had to. 
Though l could have behaved differently from the way I felt I must, 
I thought there would be no point. 
There must have been something in Teresa that suited my personality. 

I thought much at the time about the "alter ego". 
Teresa was a whole world, just as distant 
as any other man, as any other woman 
—and yet there was something that allowed one to think of throwing a bridge. 

I let that thought run on, and even develop within me. 
It was not an assent independent of an act of will. 
I simply resisted sensation and the appeal of the senses, 
for I knew that otherwise I would never really leave my "ego" 
and reach the other person—but that meant an effort. 
For my senses fed at every step
on the charms of the women I met.
When once or twice I tried following them,
I met solitary islands.
This made me think that beauty accessible to the senses
can be a difficult gift or a dangerous one;
I met people led by it to hurt others
—and so, gradually, I learned to value beauty
accessible o the mind, that is to say, truth.
I decided then to seek a woman who would be indeed
my real "alter ego" so that the bridge between us
would not be a shaky footbridge among water lilies and reeds.
 
 

I met a few girls who absorbed my imagination, 
and also my thoughts—but at the moments 
when it seemed to me I was most concerned with them, 
I suddenly realized that Teresa was still there in my consciousness and memory 
and I instinctively compared each of them with her. 
And yet I even wished them to push her from my consciousness; 
in a way, I counted on it.  


And I was ready to follow sensation, strong, forceful sensation. 

I wanted to regard love as passion, 
as an emotion to surpass all 
I believed in the absolute of emotion.
And that is why I could not grasp
the basis of that strange persistence of Teresa in me,
the cause of her presence,
the assurance of her place in my "ego",
or what creates around her
that strange resonance, that feeling "you ought to".
So I avoided her cautiously, deliberately evaded
everything that could cause even the shadow of a guess. 

Sometimes I even tormented her in my thoughts, 
while seeing in her my tormentor. 
It seemed to me she pursued me with her love, 
and that I must cut myself off decisively. 
Thus grew my interest in Teresa; 
love grew, in a sense, from resistance. 
Or love can be a collision
in which two selves realize profoundly
they ought to belong to each other, even though they have no convenient moods and
 sensations.
It is one of those processes in the universe which bring a synthesis,
unite what was divided, broaden and enrich what was limited and narrow.
"
"... love is enthusiasm rather than pensiveness. "

"...The future for us remains an unknown quantity, which we now accept without anxiety. Love has overcome anxiety. The future depends on love."